


Elastic Heart

by 2davidbeckham3



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 09:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10487463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2davidbeckham3/pseuds/2davidbeckham3
Summary: "Do you miss it?"It should be a simple answer.





	

**Author's Note:**

> __  
> ["The day after, I literally was like questioning myself whether I made the right decision ... the one thing I miss more than anything is playing for England."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znQqNSIijcg)  
>     
> [Title song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWZGAExj-es)
> 
> Prompts (used very loosely):  
> -Photo prompt  
> -Trope prompt: Celebratory kiss
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

_“Do you miss it?”_

It’s their last question – it’s always their last question – and you’re tired. (Whether it’s in general or of resisting the gravity of the cameras is debatable). You want to instinctively answer _“Every day that ends with a ‘y,’”_ but it’s something that _someone_ else would say so you don’t. You feel yourself teetering on the event horizon, just on the brink of losing yourself; the press wants you to act and you almost do, until remind yourself to breathe.

You’re still you, a bit greyer and not as sharp around the edges – not what _they_ want – but you’re you.

Somedays, you can handle it.

You’ve accepted it you’ve moved on into another phase of your life. You have your business, an empire, of sorts, in the eyes of the cynical, but it’s not that much different than before. Your work might not be the same, but it’s all more similar than it seems. The cameras still linger like shadows, shrouding critics that are waiting for you to fail. It’s all the same. You still know the trick, how to turn pressure into motivation. (That’s your trick, anyways – there’s a reason why so many former players become pundits.)

On other days, you despise that question.

It’s an unnecessary and, yet, no one feels the need to save their breath.

You still dream about it, sometimes.

The red and gold. A never-ending feeling of hope shared by five other kids that were almost just as wide-eyed as you. (Almost. _Almost_. You can’t forget the dancer floating down the left wing. Or the boy with the red hair and the red shirt, just to name a few.)

You still remember how small the goal looked from forty-five yards away and the wild whisper in your mind that urged you to take it.

It felt like you were soaring.

You remember Wembley and L.A. and everything in-between.

Paris with its rainy days and golden sunsets, the city where you learned how to say goodbye for the last time and finally learned how to put yourself first. The thundering of the crowd in Paris and how it felt like it was going to leave the city in ruins in its wake.

You remember Barcelona and _so many corners._ Its lion’s roar still rings in your ears and you still don’t think you’ve recovered from that sleepless night. You couldn’t even sleep for days after you got home, always seeing a glint of silver every time you closed your eyes. ( _Home_ , it’s kinda funny to think about it like that, now.) You remember Barcelona and feeling like you couldn’t breathe, it’s absolutely stifling atmosphere since Judas dressed in white.

You can never forget L.A. and how it embraced you with open arms. It was all so familiar and so different. The armband was tight on your arm, but worth it when you looked up into the crowd and saw it growing bigger and bigger every passing week. They called you a typhoon or some other sort of natural disaster, but seeing your name on the back of so many shirts didn’t matter, not when you felt you could see passion growing right before your eyes.

Milan was where you first learned the true definition of heartbreak and perfected fake smiles. You still dream about it, well, have nightmares about it. You still know exactly how the grass felt against your cheek and the split second of deafening silence of the San Siro. You still remember how it was like, waking up in a cold sweat, thinking how that would be your unfortunate end.

You remember Madrid and how big it seemed on the first day. You remember how your hand shook while you reached for the handle of the locker room and how you almost couldn’t bring yourself to open it. You were surrounded by colossi that somehow welcomed you into their pantheon, though sometimes you felt like your forced your way in. Maybe you did, but the cut above your eye and your injured ego were motivation enough. (You _knew_ you deserved better, the stars aligned and your decision was made for you.)

You remember how your vision went red and how, miraculously, that wasn’t the end of your story. _Even God forgives_ they had said, but it felt like England wouldn’t, until it did. You’re glad it did. You can still feel the threads of the Three Lions seared against your lips and how you knew that the woven crest was only a placeholder for what was engraved over your heart.

It’s almost overwhelming because you can’t forget. You’ve never forgotten—

But you breathe.

 _“Sometimes,”_ you reply with a wry smile _._

Simple as that.

**Author's Note:**

> Second time doing second person POV and my first writing in... a while. I just wanted to get back into the swing of things so I hope you all enjoyed. (Inspired by all the lovely second person POV pieces that I will def provide a link to if asked).
> 
> \- I mashed up [two quotes](http://sport.bt.com/images/i-remember-the-first-time-i-saw-giggs-he-was-13-and-he-floated-across-the-ground-like-a-cocker-spaniel-chasing-a-piece-of-silver-paper-in-the-wind-sir-alex-ferguson-136385385114003901-131128171138.jpg) about [Ryan Giggs](http://sport.bt.com/images/a-young-giggsy-was-like-a-ballet-dancer-i-had-never-seen-a-young-player-like-that-and-i-had-seen-the-busby-babes-eric-harrison-136385385129203901-131128172213.jpg)  
> \- And used Socrates' about Paul Scholes:  
>  _“Good enough to play for Brazil. I love to watch Scholes, to see him pass, the boy with the red hair and the red shirt.”_  
>  \- [WE'RE SOARING, FLYING, THERE'S NOT A STAR IN HEAVEN THAT WE CAN'T REACH.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4tVnpwp8d4)  
> \- So many corners aka the last few minutes of the 1999 CL final and [lion's roar](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/2298110/Pierluigi-Collina-Nou-Camp-in-1999-was-best.html)  
> \- [Judas](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MJo5nfZNAPc/TqJzFguBRjI/AAAAAAAACGE/RSUmsLOFLys/s1600/figo%2Bjudas%2Btraitor%2Bbarca%2Bbarcelona%2Bfcbarcelona%2Bbarcablog%2Bbarca%2Bblog%2Bfigo%2Bjudas%2Btraitor%2Bbarca%2Bbarcelona%2Bfcbarcelona%2Bbarcablog%2Bbarca%2Bblog.jpeg)  
> \- [ Sir Alex gave him a cut above his eye](http://www.reuters.com/article/us-soccer-mls-beckham-idUSKBN0M12KC20150305>Beckham%20Effect</a><br/>%0A-%20David%20tore%20his%20Achilles%20Tendon%20playing%20for%20AC%20Milan%20in%20the%2009/10%20season.<br/>%20%0A-%20Sir%20Alex%20kicked%20a%20boot%20at%20Becks%20and%20hit%20him%20<a%20href=) (and said some not so nice things about him and Victoria, they've made up now, apparently)  
> \- [Kissing the crest](http://images.dailystar.co.uk/dynamic/140/photos/513000/620x/David-Beckham-football-438332.jpg)  
> \- [Infamous red card](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWsEuczNj48)  
> _ [God only knows](https://cdn.itv.com/uploads/editor/N4ahzvIjBWnc8d5T-h1f9Y7KY7-KWWGCUL09Fy_JVxc.jpg)
> 
> Thanks again for reading! [(tumblr)](kaligaga.tumblr.com)


End file.
